I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

Coming in the mail…

My ear hurts.

Why is this kid so fucking goofy looking?

I realized that nothing can be awful, seeing that Arnold Palmer’s and sunflower seeds exist.

This man showed up multiple times in my dreams last night. I hope it’s a sign, because David Robinson is the fucking man.

My insurance plan is Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield… But when I call doctor’s offices, I don’t know what I am supposed to say. So I don’t go to the doctor… I pick my battles.

He’s got eyes in the back of his head.

Vilification

I did my roommate’s history homework tonight. I want pity. But I have no followers… I wish Axl Rose followed me.